AIDILFITRI OF REGRET AND REDEMPTION AT PUSPEN BACHOK

By Mohd Noor Iqram Rosli

BACHOK, March 27 (Bernama) -- As Muslims around the world prepare to celebrate Aidilfitri with family reunions, festive meals, and nostalgic Raya songs, there are some whose hearts ache quietly behind locked gates.

At the Bachok Narcotics Addiction Rehabilitation Centre (Puspen), which houses 166 women in recovery from drug addiction, the vibrant celebrations of Syawal are a bittersweet memory.

The sounds of laughter and the aroma of festive dishes are replaced by the echoes of their own regrets - a stark contrast to the joyful spirit that fills homes beyond the centre’s walls.

For Siti (not her real name), 43, the classic Raya song Cahaya Aidilfitri by Black Dog Bone is a painful reminder. The lyrics, which loosely translate to "When Raya arrives, everyone rejoices, but for me, only sadness envelops my life," capture the ache she feels this season.

“Every Syawal, I would visit my parents' graves. But this year, I can only pray from afar,” she told Bernama recently.

The loss of her parents, coupled with the weight of a decade-long struggle with methamphetamine addiction, leaves her yearning for a chance to rewrite her story.

“I truly regret it. Drugs destroy lives. I want to return to society and live a better life,” she added, a glimmer of hope breaking through her remorse.

For Mariam (not her real name), 40, this is the second Aidilfitri she has spent away from her family. Each time she hears Air Mata Syawal by Datuk Seri Siti Nurhaliza, her mind replays the moment her mother's tears fell upon hearing her sentence.

“I still see my mother's tear-streaked face. I feel so guilty for failing her as a daughter,” she said, her voice wavering.

A single mother of three, Mariam clings to the memories of past Syawal celebrations - the joy of matching outfits, the warm embraces, and the laughter that once filled their home.

“This year, I can only imagine their faces from afar. But once I’m free, I will make up for everything and make them proud,” she promised.

For these women, Aidilfitri is no longer just a celebration - it is a reminder of their mistakes and a symbol of the redemption they long for. While the past remains unchangeable, the desire to return to their families and start anew gives them the strength to keep going.

Beyond the centre’s gates, the festive spirit of Aidilfitri thrives, yet here, amid the silence, hope and regret weave a different kind of melody - a quiet, persistent plea for a second chance.

--BERNAMA